I See They Finally Figured Out Human Cloning
Being a journalist means raising important questions. For example: Just how many Ayo Edibiris are there?
It was announced this week that the actress’ upcoming film The Sweet East, which premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, will also play the New York Film Festival next month. That’s exciting news if you’ve seen either of her two comedies that are currently in theaters.
In Bottoms, she plays a shy lesbian teenager who co-founded a fight club at her high school under the guise of promoting female empowerment and self-defense—when, really, she and her BFF use it to get closer to their cool-girl crushes. The movie is a raunchy, surprising riot, grounded by Edibiri’s chameleonic performance as an awkward teen. And in Theater Camp, she plays a counselor at a, well, theater camp, who lied on her résumé to get her job and cluelessly makes up lessons in things like stage combat on the spot—to hilarious effect.
Also this summer, you likely saw her earn a well-deserved Best Supporting Actress Emmy nom (and maybe even win) for her phenomenal work in The Bear. She’s also the voice of April O’Neil in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem and of Glory in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. She starred in an episode of the new season of Black Mirror, and played Quinta Brunson’s sister in Abbott Elementary. That’s not to mention acting appearances and voice roles in I Think You Should Leave, History of the World: Part II, Clone High, Mulligan, Kiff, and Bigtop Burger.
A performer this talented should be in such high demand. But being able to actually do all of these projects may also require a break in the space-time continuum that, I guess, only she knows about. That, or whoever puzzles together her work schedule left the field of quantum physics for the world of Hollywood management; Albert Einstein is alive and well, and he’s in charge of Ayo Edebiri’s Google calendar.
So congrats to Edebiri and all of her clones on this well-deserved year.
Breaking: This Idea Sucks
Here’s a fun fact that few people know about: Billionaire Hollywood execs actually earn a dollar for each god-awful idea they attempt to inflict on their workers and the public. That’s how they amass their fortunes! Those Scrooge McDuck-style bank vaults are about to get a flood of new gold coins after this latest asinine proposal.
Variety reported this week that Warner Bros. Discovery will test out breaking news alerts from CNN programming while Max users are streaming other content. This is so annoying!
I’m imagining a situation in which I’m watching Season 3 of the just-renewed And Just Like That.
Miranda Hobbes is in a straitjacket on the twin bed she sleeps on in the literal padded cell she’s staying in at Nya Wallace’s apartment, finally in the throes of a full psychotic break after yet another life embarrassment. Charlotte York, Queen of Sex Positivity and Killing It at the Art Gallery, is skipping through the halls of a local high school tossing out condoms like a flower girl at the wedding, while on her way to sell a $40 million painting to Dylan Mulvaney. Carrie Bradshaw has shut herself inside her Gramercy Park mansion, running an Instagram account for her cat while counting the days until five years have passed and she’s allowed to contact her boyfriend again. Lily, Brady, and Wyatt, meanwhile, have been sent to one of those Scared Straight boot camps, punishment for their various acts of terrorism.
I am living for all of it, a retreat to my escapist, bonkers And Just Like That universe, when—JUMP SCARE!—Wolf Blitzer appears on my screen to start talking about a school shooting.
It’s an absurd plan, to interrupt the content that viewers came to the streaming service to enjoy; if I wanted to be watching CNN, I wouldn’t be on hour four of bingeing Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Breaking news alerts are already everywhere. I don’t even ask for them, yet somehow they constantly show up on my phone. I don’t need more of them. Let me live, Max!
I Am Seated for This Movie
The first teaser and photos for Emerald Fennell’s upcoming film Saltburn, starring Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, and Rosamund Pike, have arrived, and they are hot. The film has been compared to The Talented Mr. Ripley, which, again: hot. I can’t wait for this movie and am thrilled for an occasion—any occasion, really—to post these stills from The Talented Mr. Ripley in the meantime. (I am posting them because they are…can you guess?…hot.)
The King of New York
It is my opinion that there is only one sport worth watching, and that is tennis. So I am thrilled that my mouth-breathing king, Carlos Alcaraz, is here in New York for the U.S. Open, and already killing it in the tournament. And I am thrilled that he is doing it while wearing this Nike outfit. I love him so much.
What to watch this week:
One Piece: After a horrendous track record, this is Netflix’s best anime adaptation yet—and a triumph in its own right. (Now on Netflix)
Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake: The fan-favorite characters get their own show, and it’s an absolute delight. (Now on Max)
The Equalizer 3: Never doubt Denzel Washington. (Now in theaters)
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City: The Second Coming of Mary Cosby is upon us. (Tues. on Bravo)
What to skip this week:
Choose Love: Choose something else to watch. (Now on Netflix)